I’m going to list some artists that are on my Sansa. If anything I can look back on this and giggle. You know, the what was I drinking when I bought THAT song giggle. If anyone reads this, maybe you can suggest some songs to me? You’ll see that I’m up for almost anything!

Blond Redhead
Deftones (so many songs and probably the only ones that NEVER get deleted, regardless of my mood)
Sigur Ros
Kings Of Leon
Washed Out
The Like
Dev
Dave Matthews Band
B-52′s
The Joy Formidable
The Bird & The Bee
Kreayshawn
CKY
Tori Amos
Best Cost
Korn
Telepathe
M83
Bjork
Pixies
Band of Horses
Britney Spears (shut up!)
Rihanna
Lady Gaga
The Cure
The Breeders
Ratt
Jenny Owen Youngs
Florence & the Machine
Passion Pit
Flunk
Middle Class Rut
Lia Ices
The Zombies
The Fleetwoods
Ride
Papercuts
Nicki Minaj
Sleigh Bells
Cage the Elephant
Eminem
Lykke Li
Foster The People
Slipknot
The Ventures
The Rosebuds
Soundgarden

Again, why? It’s cheaper to get a subscription. Most issues are sold for anywhere from $2.49-$9.99 an issue. Even if you don’t read Cat Fancy, Glamour or whatever every month, most of the time, just buying one issue can pay for nearly half a yearly subscription.  I refuse to pay more than $1 per issue.  Down the road If you are a repeat subscriber magazines will usually offer better deals to try to keep you. With me, it’s not too hard. I do love bonuses though!  I recently renewed my subscription to Allure for $10. When I got the bill they offered two extra years for an extra $2.  That’s roughly 34 cents per issue! YAY ME!

I don’t know about you, but many times I’ve been at the check stand and as I’m glancing at all the crap they have to entice you (Yeah I usually grab candy/gum too. BASTARDS!) I see a magazine with an article that I must read or a celeb I must read about. *rolls eyes* LOL I don’t have time to read it there, so I buy the damn thing. BTW I think it’s rude/wrong to read entire magazines at the grocery/book store.

Why not get them on my Nook? I’d be saving a tree, right? Well right now it’s cheaper for me to kill some trees, than to get monthly digital issues. Sorry trees! Besides, I stare at screens about 80% of my day. I need a break!

There is also something about physically holding a book/magazine and flipping though the pages. Can you dog ear a Nook? “Bookmarking” isn’t the same.  Can you rip out a perfume sample and rub it all over yourself until you feel like puking from the smell? (This also annoys my cats, so sometimes I do this at home.) No. Can you rip out pages with your favorite celeb and hang it in your locker. Wait, I’m not in high school, I don’t do that anymore. Can you rip out coupons? Uhh that’s not so much of an issue now with Smart Phones and such. You would miss out on samples though and that would be a crime! There are sometimes more than just perfume samples. In my newest issue of Glamour (June 2011) there was a Carefree panty liner sample and a Garnier Moisture Rescue sample. They had accompanying coupons too! I’m MizCouponista remember?

I don’t know about you all, but I think I’ve justified my million subscriptions to magazines. Sure I’d save even more $$ but just not getting them, but really, what fun would that be?

~D

Summer of 2007 I was at the doctor again whining about my weight.  She wouldn’t give me more Phentermine saying that I was on it long enough to be a “lawsuit waiting to happen”.  I whined that I didn’t take it consistently over the few months it was prescribed, but she wouldn’t budge.  I had my gallbladder removed the previous winter and that interrupted my Phen use. While I was going on and on, she was looking through my records and noticed that I had recently had lab work due to another issue. (I’m not a hypochondriac I swear!) She freaked me out because my blood sugar was high and should have caused red flags.  The other office neglected to tell me I was on the fast road to becoming a diabetic. Having a family history of diabetes increased my chances.

I was introduced  to Byetta.  It’s for people with Type II Diabetes, but it’s one of those medications that is multipurpose.  (I will never understand that.)  The manufacturer did a 6 month study that showed people who used it lost weight along with controlling their blood sugar.  She gave me my first month via a sample (5mg) kit and told me to come back in a month.  Notice I said kit. This time it wasn’t a pill. I had to give myself injections! The nurse showed me how to do it, gave me a prescription for needles and sent me on my way assuring me everything would be fine.

Later when I went to do it myself I got nervous. After the first time I got over it.  It was in pen form and the needle was super tiny.  My sample starter kit had a little postcard to send to the manufacturer. It was a free offer  for this nifty little black carry case. I was all set!

That afternoon I had to work.  I snuck online to see if there were blogs and forums  of peeps taking Byetta for weight loss. I wanted to know what I was in for along with poking myself twice a day.  My co-worker was Googling with me and came across a forum that referred to it as “Lizard Spit”.  W-T-F? I made her read it to me as I gagged.  All I could think of was EWWW EWWWW EWWW. Who the hell comes up with this shit? Oh, Let’s take poisonous lizard spit and see what it can do?

Exenatide (also Exendin-4, marketed as Byetta) is the first of a new class of medications approved for the treatment of type 2 diabetes. It is manufactured and marketed by Amylin Pharmaceuticals and Eli Lilly and Company.

Derived from the saliva of the gila monster, Exenatide a 39 amino acid peptide that mimics the GLP-1 incretin, an insulin secretagogue with glucoregulatory effects. While it may lower blood glucose levels on its own, it can also be combined with other medications such as pioglitazone, metformin, sulfonylureas, and/or insulin to improve glucose control. The approved use of exenatide is with either sulfonylureas, metformin and thiazolinediones. The medication is injected twice per day using a pre-filled pen device. Typical human responses to exenatide include improvements in the initial rapid release of endogenous insulin, suppression of glucagon release by the pancreas, regulation of gastric empyting, and reduced appetite – all of which function to lower blood glucose. Exenatide is self-regulating in that it lowers blood sugar when levels are elevated but does not continue to lower blood sugar when levels return to normal, unlike with sulfonylureas or insulins.

After my first month I went back to see the doctor. I was tolerating the Byetta and lost a few pounds. She gave me my prescription for the next 5 months. 10mg twice a day.  Aside from vomiting unless I took nausea meds, that make me sleepy, it went OK.  I only stayed on it 5 of the 6 recommended months.  I lost my appetite at first as expected, but it came back after 2 months. I lost maybe 15 pounds total. WOOO HOOO! Luckily the needle didn’t leave scars on my belly.

That would be saved for my surgery.

MAY 2006 Steve and I had been together for over a year by now, and with each month, I got bigger and bigger. My supervisor was looking fabulous and it leaked that she was on Phentermine. I went to my doc for a med check (on anti-depressants) and cried that I was at a loss (or not losing) with my weight. I don’t remember if I hinted at Phentermine or if she brought it up.  Again, I was at my NOW heaviest of 262 and wanted to die.  Before she would give me Phentermine she explained that it was a tool to learn how to eat better. I equated it to having training wheels. In 6 months (the length allowed to be on Phen) the wheels would come off and I’d be able to ride into the sunset healthier, smarter about food and thinner.

I started out with 15mg a day. Dr. also said I had to see a dietitian.

Ah yes, the visit with Dr. C the dietitian. I had to have a food diary with at least 3 days on it prior to my visit. She glanced over it and told me what I was doing wrong. I knew what I was doing wrong, eating sweets and junk food! As crazy as it sounds I wasn’t eating enough though. She handed me a poster with foods and their fat/crab/calorie amounts. Then I was told I had to eat 5-6 small meals a day consisting of no more than 3oo calories per meal, and drink 8 glasses of water a day. I was then given a hand out with foods that are high in fiber and protein, and then sent on my merry way.  WTF?  I paid $150 for a visit that lasted all about 15 minutes.

I’m not stupid, but I felt I needed a little more education as to how to get the most out of my 300 calorie meals. I was hoping I’d hang the poster on the fridge and it would become all magical and tell me what to eat and what not to eat. I needed someone to go shopping with me and point out how to eat healthy on my junk food cheapo budget. Did I mention I don’t cook? How do you go from eating out, eating mac and cheese, pizza, and fast food, to healthy nutritious and smart? I DON’T KNOW!  I wasn’t about to pay another $150 (that insurance doesn’t cover) to find out. I should have given Dr. C a chance, but the way she was during our first chat, lets just say the vibes weren’t good. Back to the wonder pill!

I was happy thus far. My hunger was curbed and at my first month check-up I had lost 9lbs.  I was upset that it wasn’t more, but Dr. was happy. Here is when she threw in that she didn’t want me losing more than 3lbs a week. It wasn’t safe and besides, the faster it came off, the faster it was likely to come back. Oh ok! Since my heart was fine along with my other vitals, Dr. bumped me up to 30mg a day.

WOOOOHOOOOO! I had to force myself to eat!  I didn’t want chocolate at all and had energy like never before. It was fabulous! On the down side, by week 2, I started getting uber grumpy.  At work I wanted to rip people’s heads off.  I had absolutely no patience whatsoever. I wanted to choke my boyfriend for breathing and I wanted to kick my cats. NOT GOOD!  I called my Dr. before my next monthly check-up and told her about this so she put me on Zoloft.  Within a few days, the Hulkette disappeared. I continued to eat better, and was great about keeping up with my food journal. Dr. was right. When you’re not starving you eat to be able to function, but nothing more. After not having “junk” for a while, I wasn’t missing it and didn’t want it. It’s going to work this time I thought. I’m going to loss weight, have a better relationship with food and all that.

Later in the summer I started getting real sick. I was having the stomach flu constantly. I was missing so much work. In September I decided to go see a doctor before I got fired. I was also tired of everyone snickering that I was just pregnant. I had labs, an ultrasound, an endoscopy, and hyda scan.  I asked each doc I saw if it was the Phentermine and they said no. The crappy thing was that I was hardly taking it by this point so the weight stopped. I didn’t resort to eating lots again, because I was always sick. It got so bad, the smell of food made me sick. Anytime I ate out, I’d get so overwhelmed by the smells in the restaurant I’d go out to the parking lot and vomit my dinner. Did I lose weight this way? NO!

Turns out my gallbladder just quit functioning properly. Whatever that means. In December of 2006 I had surgery to have it removed. It took until January to fully recover and things to get back to normal. I didn’t have any Phentermine left and when I went in for my yearly, the doctor said no more. Even though I had been ill and not taking it my time was up and the training wheels came off. Total weight loss was 31lbs.

Soon I reverted back to my old ways. I was told to keep up with my food journal (yes, it really does help IF YOU DO IT) exercise and what weight I’d lost would stay off and I’d keep losing. Needless to say, I started gaining.

If the doctors that lectured me on “you must eat right and exercise regularly and the weight will just fall off”, were once in my clothes at any size, maybe I would have had more faith. It sounds so easy to eat right, exercise and blah blah blah. NO IT ISN’T OR THERE WOULD NOT BE AN OBESITY EPIDEMIC WOULD THERE?

Burning down fast food places, bakeries, and soda plants wouldn’t save us all either. Would it?

My doc and her new NP took pity on me and the summer of 2007 I was introduced to something else…