MizSmartypants.com

I only have 195 songs on my MP3 player. NO it’s not an Ipad/touch/pod. I’m not an Apple person. It’s a Sansa and I love it very much. I could have a lot more, but I’m bored with everything.

I’m going to list some artists that are on my Sansa. If anything I can look back on this and giggle. You know, the what was I drinking when I bought THAT song giggle. If anyone reads this, maybe you can suggest some songs to me? You’ll see that I’m up for almost anything!

Blond Redhead
Deftones (so many songs and probably the only ones that NEVER get deleted, regardless of my mood)
Sigur Ros
Kings Of Leon
Washed Out
The Like
Dev
Dave Matthews Band
B-52′s
The Joy Formidable
The Bird & The Bee
Kreayshawn
CKY
Tori Amos
Best Cost
Korn
Telepathe
M83
Bjork
Pixies
Band of Horses
Britney Spears (shut up!)
Rihanna
Lady Gaga
The Cure
The Breeders
Ratt
Jenny Owen Youngs
Florence & the Machine
Passion Pit
Flunk
Middle Class Rut
Lia Ices
The Zombies
The Fleetwoods
Ride
Papercuts
Nicki Minaj
Sleigh Bells
Cage the Elephant
Eminem
Lykke Li
Foster The People
Slipknot
The Ventures
The Rosebuds
Soundgarden

I found the following poem a few months after my surgery.  I cried.  It was as if the author read my mind.  Someone understood what I was going through.  I wasn’t alone!

I wish I would have shared it earlier, but  I  lost the website I found it on and who the author was. I’ve spent the last hour searching for the poem (no luck) when I remembered I saved it on my computer. I didn’t write the website and author down when I copied it. I didn’t have any intentions of “borrowing” it for my blog.  If the author so happens to find me, please let me know so I can credit it you.

“MY EYES ARE STARVING”

Relax! It’s OK to be hungry.

You would have to eat a great deal and for a long time to backslide far enough to get to your weight on
surgery day. Do not fear hunger. Fearing it gives it control. Fear makes you reckless, because it
makes you feel hopeless. Seize control! Realize you actually ARE hungry because your new tummy is so small, it can’t possibly ingest enough nutrition to support your body at one sitting.

 

Yes, you’re going to be hungry often, but DON’T be afraid of that. Go with the flow like a skier. Skiers bend their knees and move their bodies from side to side to keep their balance as they go forward. What we’re doing is learning to eat properly as we move forward, to keep our nutritional
balance. It’s not easy. I’ve never skied before, and I’ve never had RNY surgery before. It’s the learning curve. Hang on as you go up.

 

We no longer have the physical capacity to eat an entire package of cookies at one sitting. That’s impossible now. But you can eat one cookie (if you don’t go into dumping). You can eat it slowly, and savor it, and enjoy it. And you can have a second and a third, but you’re going to find you don’t really want the whole package. That’s a good sign. And maybe you didn’t even enjoy the cookie(s). That’s even better. You understand that cookies are a waste of your stomach space, space you should be filling with NUTRITIOUS food; Nutrition to keep you alive. Food is less and less of a recreation every day.

 

I think exploring is a good idea. You’re going to discover that foods don’t taste or even ‘feel’ like they used to, any more. Your tastes have changed. Try fruit when you THINK you have a sweet tooth. The more you stay away from refined sugars, the less you’ll crave them. You have more power to stay away these days than you ever had before. But if you do have some, be easy on yourself. So what?

 

BELIEVE IT! You are NOT going back ‘there’!

 

A friend of mine told me about her horrible shopping/coupon experience at Target last night.  I was so angry after reading her message. I wanted to crack some skulls! It is so not necessary to treat people like that.  Before I rant away, I want you to know that I’ve been on both sides of the fence. I was a cashier for several years at a major grocery chain. I’ve dealt with people from all walks of life. Having said that, I must get this off my plate or I may eat my words and do unto others what I do not want done to me!

To all the rude/snotty cashiers out there. KNOCK IT OFF! I am assuming you’re being a brat because your boss is a jerk or you had a customer from hell come through your line. I’m betting you’ve been on your feet for hours, not able to take a break or get something to eat. Maybe you had a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend before your shift. Perhaps you just generally hate your job, because you think you’re better than this, but…nevermind.  My supervisor used to tell us, “Leave it at the front door, pick it up after you clock out.” In shorter terms…

DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON ME!

As much as I hate the following phrase, it is spot on. THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! *cringe* I don’t expect the red carpet rolled out when I walk in. I don’t want my ass kissed. I just want my order rang up right, my coupons properly deducted, and the correct change given. IT’S NOT HARD. *ding*

Furthermore, I’m not purposely trying to piss  you off. I know you’re not the one over charging me for my twinkies. It’s a data entry mistake. Don’t snark at me when I politely point it out. I’m not blaming YOU, so don’t take it personally.  Change places with me for just a second. You don’t want to pay more than you have to right? How do YOU feel when you’re at the checkout and something rings up wrong?

When I hand you my pile of coupons, don’t look at me like I asked you if I could knock your teeth out.  Scanning coupons and entering dollar amounts is not hard. REALLY! I’ve done it honey. Sure you have to deal with me for an extra hour, but I’m beautiful and charming. Why wouldn’t you want to? *snort* When I was a cashier I would much rather take on a shoe box of coupons than have to fix items scanning wrong, or getting price checks. By the way, please don’t squish my bread or bruise my nannas. OH and cashiers…Be nice to your courtesy clerk or they’ll pack your groceries like crap thus making me want to smack you. I can’t blame them right? They already ran off to do a price check for someone else.

Speaking of my beloved coupons….. Why do you act like I’m trying to rob you or ask you to pay for my bill?  The only thing that made me wince is if the coupon looked doctored, fake, or expired. I hated telling someone I couldn’t accept it, THEN having o call the manager to back me. (Didn’t always happen and I turned out the be the asshole anyway.)

Stores make money off of LEGIT coupons. If it’s fake they don’t get paid, thus your till may be counted as short. Try to have a little faith. Not all couponers are trying to scam you. We just want to save money on food so we can buy more shoes! Stop treating us like we’re asking you to buy our kitty litter.

With the economy in the dumps and the rise of reality TV, coupon use is climbing. Get used to it. A fake hello and smile go along way. I’ll do the same and we’ll both be happy!

~D

I had Gastric Bypass Surgery January 13, 2009. I fully intended on blogging about it, mainly for moral support. Each month that went by, and they flew, I kept saying, “I need to get some posts done”. Another month would pass.

It’s been 2 1/2 years. I wish I could tell you life is perfect. Mine isn’t and never will be. My head is full of would have, could have, should have & why didn’t I? Those voices will never quiet down. In short, I’ve failed myself. I lost close to 100lbs, YAY ME. I’ve regained over 40. BOOOO HISSSSS! I don’t know the exact amount. I haven’t weighed myself in over a month. I’m terrified to.

If I would have kept my FAT mouth shut I probably wouldn’t be in this state. I kept spouting off to everyone how I wasn’t going to EVER gain the weight back, that I’d rather be dead. With each pound that fell off I grew smug and felt like I was better than everyone else. Oddly enough, for always being “heavy” part of me has always been vain. How weird is that? How can you be obese, hate yourself, yet vain? Leave it to me!

I’m not sharing this for sympathy. I’m sharing it to get kicks in the ass. I need accountability. I need someone to hold my hand and make me do things. I need someone to tell me NO and STOP THAT! I need something. Therapy maybe? LOL

In the next few weeks I’m going to TRY to remember my surgery ordeal and the stuff after. If anything, for me. I know I started this blog to help others. I think I need to help myself first. Right? Maybe I can see where I screwed up.

~D

My postal carrier hates me.  In addition to signing up for every freebie I can find, I have subscriptions to 10+ magazines.  WHY? I ask myself this every month when the new issues arrive. I curse at myself while hauling all my magazines to work. (That’s the only place I have time to read. shhhh!) My family thinks I’m nuts. My co-workers love me though. FREE MAGAZINES!

Again, why? It’s cheaper to get a subscription. Most issues are sold for anywhere from $2.49-$9.99 an issue. Even if you don’t read Cat Fancy, Glamour or whatever every month, most of the time, just buying one issue can pay for nearly half a yearly subscription.  I refuse to pay more than $1 per issue.  Down the road If you are a repeat subscriber magazines will usually offer better deals to try to keep you. With me, it’s not too hard. I do love bonuses though!  I recently renewed my subscription to Allure for $10. When I got the bill they offered two extra years for an extra $2.  That’s roughly 34 cents per issue! YAY ME!

I don’t know about you, but many times I’ve been at the check stand and as I’m glancing at all the crap they have to entice you (Yeah I usually grab candy/gum too. BASTARDS!) I see a magazine with an article that I must read or a celeb I must read about. *rolls eyes* LOL I don’t have time to read it there, so I buy the damn thing. BTW I think it’s rude/wrong to read entire magazines at the grocery/book store.

Why not get them on my Nook? I’d be saving a tree, right? Well right now it’s cheaper for me to kill some trees, than to get monthly digital issues. Sorry trees! Besides, I stare at screens about 80% of my day. I need a break!

There is also something about physically holding a book/magazine and flipping though the pages. Can you dog ear a Nook? “Bookmarking” isn’t the same.  Can you rip out a perfume sample and rub it all over yourself until you feel like puking from the smell? (This also annoys my cats, so sometimes I do this at home.) No. Can you rip out pages with your favorite celeb and hang it in your locker. Wait, I’m not in high school, I don’t do that anymore. Can you rip out coupons? Uhh that’s not so much of an issue now with Smart Phones and such. You would miss out on samples though and that would be a crime! There are sometimes more than just perfume samples. In my newest issue of Glamour (June 2011) there was a Carefree panty liner sample and a Garnier Moisture Rescue sample. They had accompanying coupons too! I’m MizCouponista remember?

I don’t know about you all, but I think I’ve justified my million subscriptions to magazines. Sure I’d save even more $$ but just not getting them, but really, what fun would that be?

~D

Over the past few weeks I’ve changed as a shopper.  I still manage to have a few impulse buys, but not nearly as much as before.  My mantra has become, “If I don’t have a coupon for it, I don’t get it… YET”!

I’m becoming quite the coupon huntress. I’ve been searching online for coupons for the products I use most.  My Facebook page has become overrun with “Likes”.  I’m sure it has driven people to block or delete me.   Seriously though I’d rather have likes covering my wall for useful things instead of, “please be my neighbor in ****ville”?

BTW I’m not slamming games or the people that play them. I still have some apps I visit like SuperPoke Pets. I don’t want my pet to get lonely ok! Until I get a paper cutter I need breaks from cutting coupons with scissors.

I finally got my two bottles of Nivea. I paid $.04 for one (Target) and ZERO for the other (Walmart). They were each the last one on the shelf. There is no way to explain the high of getting something for next to nothing. The way I was acting, you would have though I won the lottery. I am not only easy to please, but easily entertained.

If you have unused or unwanted coupons, please consider sending them to our men and women serving in the Armed Forces overseas. Our troops and their families stationed overseas are able to use them on U.S. military bases for up to SIX MONTHS after the manufacturer’s expiration date! And it’s a great way to show our troops that you care!

There are a lot of sites out there that are currently sending coupons to our troops. The one I’m most impressed with is THIS one. This site gives you the steps you need to take so you can send your coupons off.

~D

This blog is not turning out the way I intended. Does anything ever? In my world, no. Should that stop me? HELL NO!

One can never have too many blogs, websites, purses, cats, shoes….. So what’s one more?

For the last 3 days I’ve been trying to use a sweet coupon to get Nivea body wash for free. I only have 2 coupons so there is no chance of me starting a stock pile soon. There is no chance that I’ll wipe out the entire store. Someone else beat me to it.

I think it’s rude to clear the shelf. Lady do you really need 300 tooth brushes? Even if i had tons of coupons I wouldn’t use them all for me. I’d give some to friends, family or hit different stores so I leave some for others. I don’t want to become a hoarder. Coupon whore yes, but not a hoarder.